Scenes with the Marauders
by Andy Elladora Black
Summary: Scenes with the Marauders! Miss Good Old Canon? Love the Marauders? Need more Marauder-ing goodness? Then I say, click away and explore completely random scenes with the Marauders! Hope you enjoy! Rated T for swearing and mildly suggestive themes in later chapters. Humor for Marauder-ing fun and Adventure for Hogwarts in general. !HIATUS!
1. YearOne ChapterOne, Boarding the Train

101 Scenes with the Marauders!

Hey everyone! It's Andy! Anyway, I've grown quite tired of having random Marauder-y scenes popping up in my head and having no plot to go with it. So what do I do? I make a story with NO PLOT. Yes, you heard that right, there is NO PLOT. But before you leave, please listen to my proposal. This 'story' will start from year one of the Marauders to their seventh year. It will be as canon as possible meaning:

NO ORIGINAL CHARACTERS. I'm Sirius, I will research EVERYTHING!

DEATH EATERS

VOLDEMORT

DEATH

PRANKS

HUMOUR

NOT-EVIL-YET!PETER

TOLD IN 3RD PERSON to the best of my ability.

CANON-NESS! (Don't be afraid to _**PM**_ me if you think a character is acting uncanon! I will then look it over and edit it accordingly!)

500 words, minimum per chapter. Maybe more but never less.

**Does it seem interesting?**

**Yes ? ****No ?**

**Oh dear, that insane girl broke out of that asylum again ?**

**Let me know what you think!**

**And no, it will not affect the story at all, I'm just curious.**

**Chapter One, Year One;**

**Did you know;**

_**No one really knows who James's parents were. They're just guesses. J. K. Rowling has said that James's parents were older when they had him, and Dorea would have been forty years old when he was born. However, Rowling also said that James's parents died of natural causes when they were elderly, presumably around the same time. Dorea died at the age of fifty-seven, which is not elderly in wizarding terms. However, it is also unlikely that Dorea is James Potter's mother as James's parents took Sirius Black into their home after he ran away from his family. As Alphard Black (Sirius' uncle and also Dorea's nephew) was disowned for simply giving Sirius "a decent amount of gold" when he ran away, it's likely that Dorea would also have been disowned for allowing Sirus to live with them.**_

**Resource: harrypotter wiki / Dorea Black.**

**However, in this story, James's mum and dad are Dorea and Charlus Potter.**

"James? Do you have your-" James quickly cut his dark haired mother off, not wanting her to embarrass him before he even began his schooling at Hogwarts. After all, first impressions were the ones that stuck out the most.

"Yes, mum," he sighed, trying not to show his irritation to his mother. He would only be scolded for his efforts.

"Are you sure? What about your-" she tried again.

"You packed it yesterday mum." James said quickly, somehow knowing she was about to ask about his underwear.

Again.

"Oh, my little Jamsie is all grown up!" Dorea whispered softly as she hugged her little, no not little, he was off to Hogwarts now, son. Once she released him, she wiped her eyes and James gave his father a manly man hug. Really.

Very manly.

"Be sure to cause lots of mischief for me!" Charlus said cheerfully, messing his son's hair up as fathers do as he handed his son a wrapped present. James eyed the present, his face lit up in a childlike curiosity.

"What's this?" he asked, confused. Didn't they already give him all his possessions? What could be so special about this package that his father had to wait until the very last second to give it to him?

"Open it when you get to your dorms. Don't let anyone else see it. It's a secret family heirloom," Charlus grinned mischievously. His wife glared at him, having a pretty good idea of what was in that package.

After all, Charlus did use it to sneak into the girls bathroom once or twice, and if Dorea wasn't a Black, he might have gotten away with it.

James smirked as Charlus grabbed his son's trunk and took it aboard the Hogwarts Express. Because that is what manly fathers do. They show off their manliness by carrying trunks that some eleven year old girls were dragging around.

The train was only a minute away from leaving so Charlus had to manly-ly exist the train.

He did not trip. It was a perfectly manly exit, nevermind that he fell into his wife's arms. Just shows he's romantic too! Falling out of trains into a woman's arms! You'd think that'd be creepy, but you would be WRONG.

"Bye mum! Bye dad!" James waved once the train had started to move. They waved back, once Charlus was back on his feet that is, and tears began to pool in Dorea's eyes as her only son disappeared from view.

And Charlus, in a very manly way, began to sob into his wife's shoulder.


	2. YearOne ChapterTwo, Meeting Sirius

James was just getting comfortable when there was a knock on the compartment door. Sighing, he unlocked it to reveal Sirius Black, Orion and Walburga's son. James had seen him at some of the family gatherings.

"Hey, I'm Sirius Black," the tall and handsome boy said to James as if James didn't already know him. Not that James thought he was handsome, because in James's mind, he was the handsomest of ALL! Though it was quite offensive that Sirius didn't notice James at any of his family gatherings. Honestly, talk about insulting! And he wore such expensive robes there too...

Not that he was trying to impress anyone of course. Right now girls all have the 'witchy disease'. If you touch one you'll turn into a girl too! James didn't want to turn into a girl because then he would have to wear dresses.

James didn't like dresses, so he was especially careful.

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you have the wrong person, my last name is Potter, not Black," James smirked, arrogantly. But if his arrogance was pointed out, he would deny it. Because arrogance isn't amazing.

And James Potter... is amazing.

"What?" the boy asked, confused, his grey eyes narrowed in bewilderment. He stepped into the compartment a bit nervously, but he masked it well. He wasn't a Black for nothing. James only knew because he wasn't half Black for nothing.

"Well, you seemed to be threatening me, 'Hey! I'm serious, Black!'," James mocked in a deep voice, "and I just felt like telling you that you have the wrong guy," James said, holding his hands up.

"Oh! I meant that my name is Sirius Black, do you mind if I sit with you?" Sirius asked, sounding as if he thought James might say no just because of his last name. So he was quite surprised when James just waved a hand as if to say 'whatever'.

"Are you Charlus and Dorea's son?" Sirius asked after a moment of silence.

"Yup!" James said popping the p. "Why?"

"Because then you would be my..." He strained to remember his family tree. "first cousin once removed." he said after a moment of going through generations of Black family history in his head.

"Really?" James asked, uninterested. Pretty much every pureblood family had intermarried into another. It would be a surprise if James wasn't in one way or another, related to nearly all of the other purebloods and some half-bloods at the school. There was more silence, because that is what happens when people aren't talking. And James and Sirius weren't talking.

Really.

"What's your favourite Quidditch team?" James asked, finally, running his hands through his dark hair.

"Chudley Cannons. Yours?" Sirius asked, taking a break from staring out the window.

"Puddlemere United." James said, sitting up eagerly. The two began to compare notes on Quidditch and soon they were joking around like the best-est of pals.

And so, the two bonded. And where Hermione Granger though Quidditch was good for nothing, turns out, it actually caused the friendship of the bestest friendly friends every to come to Hogwarts. It caused the beginning...

Of an era.

The Marauders Era.


	3. YearOne ChapterThree Meetings Again

**To those of you who might think Peter is out of character, I like to think that the Marauders wouldn't be friends with him unless he was equally, or at the very least closely, as awesome as they were in Hogwarts. I also like to think that he only got all creepy in the Dark Lords service and living as a rat for 12 years. Anyway, read on!**

"Ugh, I'm so full," James groaned through a mouthful of chocolate. But for some reason, he kept eating. And eating. And eating some more.

"Me too," Sirius said, biting off a chocolate frogs head, while holding another frog in his other hand.

"Then why are you still eating?" a timid voice asked from the compartment door. James and Sirius nearly fell over with shock for they had discussed many things not fit for others ears.

Discussing the fact that their mothers bought them underwear that was the colour of the house they wanted their children to get into was not at all awesome for another person to hear. It was downright mortifying.

"Didn't you shut that?" James asked Sirius accusingly, his cheeks turning bright red as he wondered how long the person had stood there.

He shook his head. "I thought you did!" In unison, they slowly turned to the person in the doorway. No wait, make that people. There was a smaller boy hiding behind the one who had spoken.

The first one had honey brown hair, was bony, and had a bunch of scars on his face. He was already dressed in his Hogwarts robes.

The other boy was a blonde, his eyes were blue and he was ever so slightly overweight. Enough to notice it, but not enough to be able to make fun of it. It gave him a younger appearance.

"I'm James Potter," Sirius said, sticking out his hand. James looked over at Sirius and caught onto what he was doing. Sirius gave a sly wink and blew a kiss towards the newcomers. Not to be outdone, James stood.

"And I'm Sirius Black," James said, giving an elegant bow. He even had the gall to kiss the scarred boys hand. No, not kiss. He practically snogged it. The scarred boy flushed awkwardly as he pulled his hand away.

"Right, well, I'm Remus Lupin and this," he pushed the reluctant younger boy into the compartment, "is Peter Pettigrew. We're first years,"

James clapped his hands eagerly. "We're firsties too!" He struck a feminine pose.

"Firsties for the win!" Sirius added, grinning as he struck what appeared to be a superman pose. Or maybe he was pointing at the ceiling. Not really sure...

"Do you mind if we sit with you?" Peter asked slightly nervously. James once again did that 'whatever' flapping thing with his hand. Seriously, his hand flapped. Flapped I say!

Taking that as a 'sure' the two boys made themselves comfortable.

"So, what house do you want to be sorted into?" Remus asked as he helped himself to some chocolate frogs that covered the seat. Honestly, it looked like the two boys from wealthy families had bought the entire trolley so Remus figured they wouldn't miss a frog or two.

"Gryffindor!" James said, letting out a lions roar. "My family has been in there for ages."

"If we're getting sorted by family, I'd be dumped into Slytherin, no questions asked," Sirius said, glumly.

James didn't like the house of Slytherin but he liked his new friend so he said, "Even if you do, we'll still be friends!" Even though he was lying through his teeth, Sirius didn't need to know that.

Sirius smiled weakly but he turned to look out the window. James shrugged as Remus and Peter looked at him. He had done his best after all. Wouldn't the chance of being friends with THE James Potter cheer up anyone? Well, apparently it didn't work for Sirius.

Trying to help the conversation along James asked, "What house do you want to be in Peter?"

Peter looked thoughtful, "Hmm.. I don't know really, I was hoping for Gryffindor but I'm not sure if I'm brave enough," he said.

"What about you Remus?" James asked. Remus shrugged.

"I'm really just trying not to get my hopes up about anything. I'm glad I'm going to Hogwarts at all," he said quietly. James was confused at what his newest friend meant, but decided not to push it.

He would push it once his new friend wasn't new anymore and stuck with James FOREVER! MUAHAHAHA!

That was totally not an evil laugh. Only Slytherins laugh evilly.

Gryffindors laugh boomingly! BOOMAHAHA BOOMAHAHA!


	4. YearOne ChapterFour, Lateness

**Whew! This one turned out longer than I expected! And I had to rewrite it a couple of times because I forgot James was supposed to insult Snape on the Express. Anyway read on!**

"Come on Sev!" A girl's voice said.

"But I don't want to!" A boy's voice whined.

The door to their compartment was opened and green eyes peered in. "Do you mind if we sit with you?" the girl asked as she pulled the door open wider, which caused 'Sev' to be revealed. He was pale and his hair was black and had a slightly greasy sheen to it as if he didn't wash it as often as he should. His nose was long and hooked as if he didn't get his broken nose fixed with magic or at the very least set properly.

Both the redhead girl and 'Sev' were dressed in their robes.

"I'm Lily, Lily Evans," the girl said politely. James stood and bowed gracefully.

"Pleased to meet you, miss. I'm James Potter, this is Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew," he said as he pointed them out.  
Remus looked confused, "I thought you were Sirius and he was James?" he said.

James grinned, "We were making fun of each other. Sorry to confuse you," he said, suddenly anxious not to lose any of his new friends yet. Remus just shook his head and Peter grinned as if to say 'it's fine'.

"I'm Severus Snape," the boy scowled at them, looking as if he didn't want to share Lily with anyone else. James sneered at him.

Maybe it was the fact that he looked unpleasant or maybe the fact that it was that Snape looked as though he thought he was the most superior out of all of them, but James muttered, "More like Snivellus Snape."

Lily froze just as she was about to take a seat next to Peter. "What did you say to him?" she hissed as she slowly turned to face him.  
James smirked, "I said, more like Snivellus Snape," he gave Sirius a nudge, "Get it? Because he's snivelling?" Sirius gave a bark like laugh as he turned and gave Severus a cold stare.

Sirius didn't really see what was so bad about him, but he opted to take his friends side.

"The nerve of you!" Lily said angrily, "Come on Sev, we're leaving!" she stuck her freckled nose in the air and marching out of the compartment with Snape following behind her.

The meeting was forgotten in favour of finishing off as many sweets as the four boys could manage to get their greedy little hands on. No matter how much they ate, it seemed as though five more candies would appear in the place of one. It was slightly daunting.

Eventually, the train came to a sudden stop, startling the four boys. James and Sirius still weren't in their robes yet. Peter had changed around five minutes ago due to Remus's urging. Sirius and James had just laughed at the idea of them getting late and protested with the fact that they might get their robes smeared with chocolate.

"Grab the candy!" James said urgently as he shoved a whole bunch of candy into his mouth. Sirius imitated him while Remus and Peter just stared. The two quickly, with mouths full, looking like chipmunks, and saliva coming out onto the sides of their mouths, began to whip off their clothing.

Remus and Peter, not wanting to witness a strip tease, quickly exited the compartment, completely forgetting to shut the door in their need to get away. Sirius pulled out their uniforms from where they had stashed them either, not wanting to have to pull them out of their trunks, and James proceeded to hop around as he tried to pull on his black trousers, whereas Sirius pulled them on with ease and tried to pull on his shirt at the same time with his robe in order to save time.

Needless to say, he was failing quite terribly.

"We need to exit the train. Hello? You need t- Oh my god!" Lily blurted out as she saw the two nearly half naked eleven year old boys (Don't worry! They had pants and under-shirts on! But it's still creepy for an eleven year old girl.) trying in vain to slip into their uniforms. Luckily, they didn't notice her and she managed to quickly slam the door shut and practically sprint away, cheeks ablaze.

"Come on!" James tried to say to his best friend but managed to only let out a small mumble and to spit candy and saliva all over the place. Sirius stared, having long since swallowed his candy and was slightly disturbed by how disgusting it looked. The two exited the train but found they didn't know where to go as they were ten minutes late. James tried to swallow his candy but ended up choking and having Sirius nearly kill him.

Although in Sirius's defence he thought that smacking a choking person in the back of the neck would work better than smacking their back.

"That way!" James pointed towards a rather large man after he got over his coughing fit. Sirius looked nervous.

"Are you sure? What if he ends up being some sort of killer or something? Do you think we'll be able to take him? Quick! What spells do you know?" Sirius asked.

"I know a great many spells and we'll end up being much too late if I tried to tell you them all," James smirked. "Now, stop being such a baby, I know that man. My dad told me his name's Hagrid and that he's a pretty nice bloke. Though he also said never to tell him anything of importance if you want it to say secret." He frowned.

"Okay, let's go then," Sirius said, taking long strides towards the large man. James hurried after him, clutching his wand tightly. It was very dark and James didn't like the dark.

He wasn't afraid of the dark. James feared NOTHING! The dark was just, ah, difficult to see in, you see?

"Excuse me?" Sirius asked politely when he stopped a few feet behind the giant of a man, ready to run if necessary. 'Hagrid' didn't seem to hear him, he was busy pointing his umbrella at a bunch of boats. Sirius tapped his foot and waited.

"EXCUSE ME!" Sirius yelled, losing his patience. Hagrid still didn't turn around, either ignoring him or still not hearing him for some reason. Sirius scowled darkly, pulling out his wand, "Why I outta-"

"Sirius don't!" James said, pulling at his friend's arm, no need for them to get expelled because they hexed a member of the staff on the very first day. James didn't get to see Hogwarts yet, they could expel him later, "Look! There's Peter and Remus!" James said, pointing at some dark figures. Sirius grinned.

"Let's go!" he said gleefully as he took off running. James followed, frowning.

"Why is the ground moving over there Sirius? Sirius!" James yelled as Sirius had run straight into the lake. James sprinted after him and peered down into the murky water once he had reached the end of the pier where Sirius had run off. Suddenly a hand shot out and grabbed James and yanked him under.

James barely had time to let out a curse before he was plunged into the cold water.

"N-n-not f-funny S-s-sirius!" James scowled, as his teeth chattered once he had resurfaced. Sirius shrugged, not looking bothered in the least.

"I figured if I was stupid enough to run into a lake in the middle of September, then you my friend," He put a mock comforting hand on James shoulder, causing James to scowl again and smack it off, "Would also be stupid enough to fall for that lame arse trick," he finished, smirking.

"H-how are you completely fine in the cold water?" James asked as they began to swim to shore.

"My mum cast a few warming spells on my clothing, said she didn't trust Dumbledore to make sure that the Slytherin dorms were warm and cozy for her 'little boy'," He glowered. "Don't know why she thinks I'll going to be a Slytherin though. I've made it clear that I don't plan on following into their footsteps any time soon."

"WHAT DID YEH THINK YEH WERE DOIN'? JUMPIN' INTO THE LAKE LIKE THAT?!" A man's voice roared as the two small boys were effortlessly pulled out of the lake and dropped onto the pier like a sack of potatoes. Sirius and James looked at each other and James opened his mouth to explain but Hagrid shook his head, "I dun wanna hear yeh're excuses. Yeh'll tell it to Professor McGonagall, yeh will!" Looking towards the rest of the students he said, "Everyone, four to a boat! And take these two dunderheads with yeh," he muttered under his breath, but everyone heard him anyway and burst into giggles and snorts.

James and Sirius were bright red by now and so they ran to sit in the boat that Remus and Peter were going at.

"Why did you guys jump into the lake anyway?" Remus asked as he sat down next to Peter. When James and Sirius simply grinned and didn't say anything, he let it drop.


	5. YearOne ChapterFive, Sorting

**This one kind of seems like it's in Sirius's point of view... Oh and remember! James only started to like Lily in third year. Besides, trying to win her heart at eleven would be a bit weird don't you think?**

**OH AND AND! I JUST FOUND OUT THAT CHOCOLATE IS POISONOUS TO WEREWOLVES SO PLEASE PRETEND I NEVER HAD REMUS EAT ANY!**

**UPDATE* Wait, no it's not. Nevermind!**

A stern witch who had introduced herself as Professor McGonagall had greeted everybody before rounding on the two wet boys. "Potter! Black! Care to explain why you are soaking wet?"  
Sirius gulped before trying to turn on his 'Black Charm'.

He flicked his hair out of his eyes and looked up at her adoringly, causing James to look at him incredulously, but Sirius ignored him.

"I needed to cool off from the hotness that radiated off of you," he winked. James snickered as McGonagall stared.

"Detention. The both of you," she said sternly as she walked off, leading the first years into the Great Hall. Sirius just grinned.

"She wants me." he told James arrogantly. James just shook his head, lost for words.

"Whoa." James said, pointing at the ceiling as ghosts went swooping by.

"I know..." Sirius grinned as he unintentionally caught the eye of his cousin, Narcissa. She gave him a polite Pureblood-Perfect smile before turning back to Bellatrix, another one of his cousins.

Sirius shuddered. James noticed, but he decided not to say anything. Not yet anyway. McGonagall was calling out student names and the students went up, put on a rather old and mangy looking hat which then declared what house they were sorted into. Quickly, too quickly, they got to, "Black, Sirius!"

Sirius swallowed and looked at James who gave him a friendly smile and a thumbs up. His eyes wandered to the Slytherin table and saw that his relatives were looking at him expectantly. He squared his shoulders and tried to walk in a carefree swagger.

The hat rested on his head for five complete seconds before shouting out, 'GRYFFINDOR!' Which shocked the entire hall into silence. James looked around and frowned, before grinning and clapping energetically for his friend. Sirius grinned back and walked to the Gryffindor table. Within minutes, the usual chatter was restored from the shock of having a Black in Gryffindor.

"Evans, Lily!" The redhead girl from the train smiled at Snape and ran up for her turn. As soon as it touched her head it declared, "Gryffindor!"

"Lupin, Remus!" Remus looked very nervous. He was practically shaking as he walked up. Sirius and James frowned as they watched, he seemed too nervous.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Pettigrew, Peter!" The hat rested on his head for a full minute. Peter was shaking his head frantically and finally, the hat decided him a, "GRYFFINDOR!"

"Potter, James!" James gulped, but quickly regained his confidence as he walked with his usual arrogant strut.

'A Potter hmm? I know just where to put you! GRYFFINDOR!' The hat said the last part for the entire hall to here. James smirked and ran his fingers through his hair before walking to the Gryffindor table and talking a seat next to his four friends.

"Snape, Severus!" was called up and declared a Slytherin the second the hat touched his head.

"Serves him right, slimy snake," James informed his friends as he watched the pale boy walk to his assigned table, but not before giving Lily a longing look. Lily shot James a scathing look.

"How dare you! I'll have you know that Sev is very sweet and-"

"Why wasn't he sorted into Hufflepuff then?" Sirius interrupted, glaring at her, "The hat didn't even need to think about it. Up and done, he's a Slytherin and Slytherins are all evil. Deal with it," he looked thoughtful for a second before smirking and saying, "Or ask McGonagall to re-sort you, given that you want to be with your friend."

Lily glared, "Of course I want to be with Sev! In fact, I'll go ask right now," she declared, sticking her nose up in the air and walking to the head table. Sirius watched her leave and as soon as she was out of earshot, he burst into guffaws.

"What? What's so funny?" James demanded.  
Once Sirius had caught his breath he said, "McGonagall is very competitive when it comes to Slytherin and Gryffindor. Especially for Quidditch. Hearing that Evans wants to be in Slytherin won't end well with her."

Now they were both laughing, and were nearly in hysterics when Lily was frogmarched out of the Great Hall, red faced with an angry head of house.


	6. YearOne ChapterSix, Attacks and Names

**Like I said before, I'm not going to use any OCs. T****he answer is REALLY obvious but can any of you tell where Lilianne and Jamze, the Gryffindor Prefects came from? Or more specifically who I used to play them ?**

**ITS UNISEX!**

"First years, follow me!" a girl said cheerfully. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter trotted off behind her dutifully, still clutching some chocolate chip cookies. She bent down a bit and smiled, "Okay, we're going to be going to the Gryffindor common room. Try to keep up, 'kay? Wouldn't want you to get lost!" She grinned.

"You're pretty," Sirius stated as he took in the smiling redhead, "Wanna snog?" he asked, flicking his hair out of his eyes and standing up taller as if to seem older than he really was. James gagged violently. What was Sirius doing? Did he want to wear dresses for the rest of his life? James had worn a dress once, just to try it.

He didn't like the way the wind blew on his no-no spot.

"You're a first year," the girl said uncomfortably as she began to lead them away, "Eleven. I'm sorry, but I'm too old for you. 'Sides you aren't supposed to have those kind of hormones yet," she said as the other prefect, a black haired boy jogged up to them.

"Lilianne!" he heaved, "I'm sooo sorry I'm late! Professor McGonagall needed to change a few of my classes around," he gasped out.

"It's fine Jamze, just as long as you weren't terrorizing Slytherins with your little pranks," Lilianne huffed.

"Of course not," Jamze said indignantly, "What do you take me for?"

Lilianne raised a delicate eyebrow, "A member of the most disrespectful, immature group of students these halls have ever seen?"

James tugged on Jamze's trousers. Jamze looked down and raised an eyebrow, "Yes?"

"Your name sounds like mine! NAME STEALER! AAATTTACCCKKK!" James yelled.

"CHARGE!" Peter yelled as he, Remus, Sirius and James threw themselves on to the 'Name Stealer'. Though Remus only joined in because he didn't want to lose his new friends.

And the fact that he was thrown right on top of the Prefect, therefore smashing his nose.

The other first years just watched as the four others proceeded to bruise Jamze for being a 'nasty, no good name stealer.' Lilianne didn't move an inch either, saying he deserved it as he had picked on first years before.

"Lilianne please! I don't want to hex them!" Jamze cried as he was punched in the abdomen. She rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Kids! Please let go of Jamze, he promises not to steal James's name anymore," she called sweetly. Immediately the children pulled away their fists.

"But then what will his name be?" James asked warily, as he pressed his shoe onto Jamze's lower stomach. Jamze winced. For firsties, those four could certainly pack a punch.

"Umm," she said thoughtfully, suddenly it came to her like a ton of bricks hitting her right in the face, "ELVENDORK!"

"Elvendork?" Jamze asked, raising an eyebrow as he pulled himself up to a sitting position.

"It's unisex!" she said gleefully, giving him a thumbs up.


	7. YearOne ChapterSeven Lagging Around

**Don't worry, there is a reason why James is so clueless about girls right now. It will be fixed in the Summer of Second Year. And about James being indifferent about Lily? He's eleven. No, just no. I will not even try to write a slightly realistic story with an eleven year old lusting after another. Just no.**

**Personal note for myself; Marauder Map, Fourth Year.**

"Black! Potter! Lupin! Pettigrew! The train is about to leave!" McGonagall scolded as she saw the boys lagging about the castle.  
James gave her a cheesy grin and Sirius said, "Why, we're staying here Professor McGonagall! How could we even think of deserting you for the holidays? I mean, you still haven't gone on a date with me!"

"I expected as much, but I had hoped I was wrong," McGonagall muttered as she walked away.

"She's in denial about her unconditional love for me. DENIAL!" Sirius yelled at McGonagall back.

"DETENTION, Black!" McGonagall said without turning around.

"See? She can't wait to get me alone!" Sirius said grinning. James rolled his eyes. He couldn't even begin to fathom why his friend was so into the other gender. Don't get him wrong, James loved his mother, but the girls his age were icky! Except for that Evans. She was kind of smart, but James still didn't like her enough to chase after her. She just wasn't worth having to wear skirts for the rest of his life.

"With SLUGHORN!" McGonagall said as she turned the corner.

"Curses! Foiled again!" Sirius said dramatically, clutching his heart.

"Honestly Sirius," Remus said, shaking his head, "Why are you trying to get into McGonagall's skirt?" James nodded along with his friend. After all, with the way Sirius was acting, he might actually touch a girl and have to wear frilly skirts and dresses for the rest of his life! And he might steal McGonagall's skirts because he didn't have any of his own!

'Or does he?' James thought as he eyed his friend, trying to imagine him smuggling skirts to wear when he was alone.

Nah, he couldn't do it. As feminine as his friend could be at times, it was simply impossible to imagine him in a skirt.

"Because if I do, I won't get detention ever again and I'll make sure you guys don't either so we can pull pranks and no one can do anything about it!" Sirius said, before giving into manical laughter.

Just last week, the boys had banded together and came up with a name for their little band of misfits. They called themselves THE MARAUDERS. Feel free to applaud.

"You know, not many people know as many shortcuts as we do," Peter said. "I was thinking, maybe we should make a map of sorts? One that shows everything and everyone?" The other three stared at him for a moment.

And then burst into laughter. Peter looked hurt.

"Sorry Pete," Sirius said, once he had caught his breath. "I mean, we're only first years. How will we be able to do that?"

"Yeah, maybe when we're older though," James nodded.  
Peter grinned, "Okay!"

Just then Remus looked out the window. It was to be a full moon next week he knew, as Madam Pomfrey, the school nurse had informed him when he expressed his concerns.

"Hey, James? Sirius? Peter?" Remus asked, clearing his throat. Immediately all the attention was turned to him, "Yes Remus?"

"I won't be here next week. I'll be, erm…" he racked his brain for a suitable excuse, "Tending to my sick aunt," he said, nodding firmly to himself. He would have to remember that. No good in getting caught in a lie.

"Okay. We'll miss you Remus! Come back soon!" the boys chorused.


	8. YearOne ChapterEight Sleeping Troubles

"James!" Sirius whisper yelled into the ears of an adorable, sleeping, James Potter.

"I wuv you mummy," James murmured in his sleep as he grabbed Sirius by the tie and yanked it down. Sirius stared wide eyes as James began to move as if to kiss Sirius's cheek.

"JAMES! I'M NOT YOUR MUM!" Sirius yelped as he scrambled away, choking a bit as James had a good hold on his red and gold Gryffindor tie. James just started snoring again.

"James?" Sirius asked in a slightly louder voice, once he had gotten his tie away from James's evil clutches. James didn't move. Sirius rolled his sleeves up.

"I didn't want to do this, mate, but you've left me no choice." He pulled out his wand and was just about to cast a spell when-

"Daddy! Again!" James giggled in his sleep and appeared to... throw himself off the bed and into Sirius's lap. Sirius stared awkwardly at James's sleeping form, before getting his wand ready again.

"What was that spell again? The water one? Hm... Oh yeah! INCENDIO!" Sirius shouted, before he let out a girly shriek when it was a large jet of flame that came out instead of a torrent of water. Luckily, James had moved his face at the very last second which caused Sirius to let out a sign of relief. Then gasp in shock. James's entire bed was burned to ashes. Sirius stared with wide eyes as the bed next to it, his own bed, caught fire.

"Um um umm... WATER SPELL. THINK SIRIUS THINK! Ummm! Aguamenti!" he yelled, pointing his wand at the flaming beds. Immediately the flames were doused and Sirius's rapidly beating heart began to calm down slightly.

James began to move again. "Oh no, you aren't going to pull another one!" Sirius said sternly as he smacked James across the face. James sleepily opened his eyes.

"Mate? What was that for?" he asked, not moving from Sirius's lap. Sirius narrowed his eyes. James was mighty heavy and his legs were starting to hurt.

"Well, you threw yourself into my lap for one."

"I did? Oh pots! I did!" James said, his cheeks growing red in embarrassment as he jumped out of his friends lap.

"Yeah. Before that you called me mummy. And daddy. Gotta make your mind up there mate, I can't be both," Sirius said, smirking.

"God, sorry Sirius. My mom told me I talk and move a lot in my sleep but I didn't really pay attention," James said sheepishly as he stood up.

"It's fine," Sirius said as he moved to Peter's bed. "Hey Pete! Wake up you great big lump!" he said as he gave a sharp smack to Peter's backside.

"Ow!" Peter groaned as he rolled over. Right off the bed. Smack into the bedside table, which caused the candle to fall onto his face and give him a hefty burn. Sirius stared with his mouth agape as Peter gave a whimper and batted the flame down with his hand.

"Holy Babbling Babes with Cabbages! I totally didn't mean to mate! I'm sorry, come on, let's take you to the wing," Sirius said as he carefully put away the candle and helped Peter up.

"Next time," Peter said, clutching at the small burn at his chin, "Just- just tell Remus to wake me okay? I trust him much more than you."

Remus just stood outside the door, shaking his head at Sirius. Honestly, he mused. Who else could cause so much destruction simply trying to wake someone up?


	9. YearOne ChapterNine Missing Sirius

**AN Sorry for the long wait, blame FutureShop and Sony. Anyway! I GOT A BRAND NEW LAPTOP! But it's Windows 8 so it'll take time to get used to. Anyway here:  
**

"Sirius!" James bellowed as he searched the castle for his friend. "Siriusssss! Where are you? You little Dementor, don't you dare hide from me!"

Sirius had found James's stack of galleons his mum had ever so kindly packed into his trunk for him and spent them all on girls. James made a face as involuntarily his mind brought up a picture of Sirius groping Dorcas Meadowes. The witch had quickly stuck him with a stinging hex to a rather... unfortunate place. James wondered why his friend chased after those skirts when they obviously were so not worth it.

Anyway, back to the galleons. James needed those galleons! They were for Zonko's when he figured out a way to sneak out of Hogwarts. Honestly, Sirius could buy half of Hogsmeade if he just asked his mum and dad. Half only because they probably wouldn't buy some of the... well, his mother called them, 'Whore Houses', whatever that meant.

Maybe a new type of shoe...

"James! Over here!" Peter called as he waved his friend over.

"Oh, hey, Peter." James grinned cheerfully. "Have you seen Sirius?"

"He has detention with McGonagall for something or the other, doesn't he?" Peter replied as they walked through the castle's darker corridors as a short cut to McGonagall's classroom.

He wasn't there and they had received an earful for disrupting McGonagall's' classroom. The two boys moved on, and would later swear that they had checked every classroom, but Sirius was no were to be found.

"Operation Find Sirius Black, FSB for short, is now a go!" James said, striking a pose quite suddenly. Peter looked at him weirdly but shrugged and agreed and so the two boys trudged on.

~Five minutes later~

James sniffled a bit, and turned away when Peter turned and looked at him curiously.

"James- James are you crying?" Peter asked, flabbergasted.

"N-no!" James said as he took a long sniff. "I just have a cold so my nose is running, and makes my eyes watery, see?" James said, turning and showing Peter his red nose and watery eyes. Peter, thankfully, accepted his -actually pretty smooth- excuse.

James however was thinking about the muggle movies he had watched on the telly with his father. In some of them young boys had been kidnapped. What if Sirius had been kidnapped?

'He still hasn't given me back my galleons...' James thought frightfully, before he began bawling.

"WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! SIRIUS WAS KIDNAPPED WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! AND HE STILL OWES ME GALLEONS! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I WANT- I WANTED TO BUY chocolate," he said, suddenly very quiet. Peter looked mildly disturbed but James ignored him.

There, standing perfectly still as a statue… was Dumbledore.

Nah, just pulling your leg, it was Sirius.

Siriusly.

"SIRIUS!" the two boys yelled in unison before stomping over to him.

"Where were you?" Peter asked.

"I was in the girls dorms..." he said, stopping as his friends stared at him, "Nothing like that, I swear. That snobby but smart redhead was helping me study. What was her name again? Milly, I think..."

And so the three walked off into the sunset... Wait weren't they in the castle? And where did those dancing monkeys in top hats come from? Hello?


	10. YearOne ChapterTen Let's Bet

"James! RUN! MCGONAGALL FOUND OUT ABOUT THE BITING UNDERWEAR THE SLYTHERINS GOT AS PRESEEEEENTSSSSSSSSS!" Sirius yelled as he sped past the sleepy James.

"Huh?" James mumbled.

"Mr. Potter! Come with me right this moment!" McGonagall said sternly as she grabbed the boy by his ear. James obediently walked along. So obediently that Minerva had to look down and make sure she hadn't accidentally somehow placed him under the imperius curse. It was then that she noticed the huge bags under his eyes.

"Mr. Potter?" McGonagall asked, suddenly worried for the boy, "Have you not been getting enough sleep?" James shook his head.

"Well, I suppose there is nothing to it. Come with me Mr. Potter I shall take you to the Hospital Wing and tell your teachers that you will be missing some classes to catch up on your sleep," McGonagall said briskly as they changed direction. James trudged along, winking and giving a thumbs up to a hidden-in-the-shadows Sirius who watched on with worried eyes.

To be frank, he thought James was insane. A few days ago, James had bet that he could get out of trouble easily and vowed to show Sirius the next time they got in trouble which happened to be 4 hours later. They were both caught and forced to clean the washrooms with toothbrushes but James insisted on trying again and by Merlin, it seems to have worked! Who knew Minne would have a soft spot for ill children?

"Madam Pomfrey, young James hasn't been getting enough sleep lately. Be a dear and give him some sleeping potion?" McGonagall asked the nurse.  
Madam Pomfrey bristled. "Professor McGonagall, I hope you do not insist on telling me how to do my job?"

"Of course not," McGonagall said quickly. "I shall leave Mr. Potter in your capable hands, Poppy," she said before leaving. James stood there, kind of awkwardly as he shifted his weight from one foot to another.

"Well then Mr. Potter, get in, get in, we don't have all day now." Madam Pomfrey bustled about, readying potions. James's nose wrinkled as he watched her mix the sleeping potion with a spider's leg.

"Never mind, I suddenly feel better!" James said, nodding his head vigorously as he sprinted for the door. Only he never made it that far. Madam Pomfrey was much too used to things like this, and therefore was very quick with her wand. In five seconds flat, James was back in his hospital bed, fast asleep, having had the nurse shove the potion down his throat.

Sirius swallowed nervously. Boy he was glad he hadn't been caught. He took off the suit of armour he was wearing and headed back to the dorms only to feel a hand tighten on his shoulder. He followed the hand with his eyes and looked into the no-nonsense gaze of Professor McGonagall. A very girly shriek escaped his mouth as he tried to run but was instead dragged to Dumbledore's office.

Never mind James, Sirius was a bit too busy feeling sorry for himself at the moment.


End file.
